petuniax

tanx

Krankenhaus Party

end of blog

end of blog,

health problems have becum rhizomatic

dead fb string out of context,

Between ---------- --------- and You

if mattress on floor is ok for you than just let me know and further deets can be discussed

takin the fancy train on the 12th, arriving at like 7 that night, then if possible hangin bumpkin in the city until the morning of the 14th. should I bring anything? besides qualudes?

this. is. sweet!
i am so happy that you're halling your ass over here

Dear ----------,

It was amazingly bombzorz to finally meet you, thank you dearly
expect a desperate call on some teary and debaucherous night in the future, and I hope i can expect the samexpect a desperate call on some teary and debaucherous night in the future, and I hope i can expect the same

Warm Regards

Reply:

REV IT UP

• One must strengthen the oppressed population themselves in their determination, self-confidence, and resistance skills;

• One must strengthen the independent social groups and in- stitutions of the oppressed people;

• One must create a powerful internal resistance force; and8 Gene Sharp

• One must develop a wise grand strategic plan for liberation and implement it skillfully.

wikiwander 2

In his Meditations, Marcus Aurelius defines several such practices. For example, in Book II, part 1:

Say to yourself in the early morning: I shall meet today ungrateful, violent, treacherous, envious, uncharitable men. All of these things have come upon them through ignorance of real good and ill... I can neither be harmed by any of them, for no man will involve me in wrong, nor can I be angry with my kinsman or hate him; for we have come into the world to work together...

Also, Stoicism, unlike Christianity, posits no beginning or end to the universe, and no continued individual existence beyond death.

"Permit nothing to cleave to you that is not your own; nothing to grow to you that may give you agony when it is torn away."

"Outward things cannot touch the soul, not in the least degree; nor have they admission to the soul, nor can they turn or move the soul; but the soul turns and moves itself alone."

Cosmopolitanism is the ideology that all human ethnic groups belong to a single community based on a shared morality. This is contrasted with communitarian and particularistic theories, especially the ideas of patriotism and nationalism.^{[citation needed]} Cosmopolitanism may entail some sort of world government or it may simply refer to more inclusive moral, economic, and/or political relationships between nations or individuals of different nations. A person who adheres to the idea of cosmopolitanism in any of its forms is called cosmopolitan.

- and those only opened:  

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Santayana
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julien_Offray_de_La_Mettrie
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jainism
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brahmacharya
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cato_the_Younger
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philip_Melanchthon
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eudaimonia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neutral_monism
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harold_Bloom
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sephardic_Jew
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mass_Psychology_of_Fascism
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jacques_Lacan
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desiring-production
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conatus
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Will_to_power
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autopoiesis
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Base_and_superstructure
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reactionary
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_without_organs
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marx%27s_theory_of_history
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoanalysis
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wilhelm_Reich
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean_Oury
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louis_Hjelmslev
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean-Fran%C3%A7ois_Lyotard
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Antichrist_%28book%29
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Cornell
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Baker_Eddy
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Science_and_Health_with_Key_to_the_Scriptures
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Count_Zero

wiki spinoza blah

That humans presume themselves to have free will, he argues, is a result of their awareness of appetites while being unable to understand the reasons why they want and act as they do.

For him, even human behaviour is fully determined, with freedom being our capacity to know we are determined and to understand why we act as we do. So freedom is not the possibility to say "no" to what happens to us but the possibility to say "yes" and fully understand why things should necessarily happen that way.

On the contrary, he contended, an emotion can only be displaced or overcome by a stronger emotion.

reality is perfection. If circumstances are seen as unfortunate it is only because of our inadequate conception of reality.
emotion is formed from inadequate understanding. His concept of "conatus" states that human beings' natural inclination is to strive toward preserving an essential being and an assertion that virtue/human power is defined by success in this preservation of being by the guidance of reason as one's central ethical doctrine.

opinion, reason, intuition 

intuitive knowledge provides the greatest satisfaction of mind

Martial Guéroult suggested the term "Panentheism", rather than "Pantheism" to describe Spinoza’s view of the relation between God and the world. The world is not God, but it is, in a strong sense, "in" God. Not only do finite things have God as their cause; they cannot be conceived without God.^[29] In other words, the world is a subset of God.

"Spinoza expressly denies personality and consciousness to God; he has neither intelligence, feeling, nor will; he does not act according to purpose, but everything follows necessarily from his nature, according to law...."^[31] Thus, Spinoza's cool, indifferent God ^[32] is the antithesis to the concept of an anthropomorphic, fatherly God who cares about humanity.

"If by eternity is understood not eternal temporal duration, but timelessness, then he lives eternally who lives in the present."

the little feat of getting out of a 40 euro ticket

To Whom it May Concern at the BVG:

I feel that I have been taken advantage of as a foreign visitor to Germany. The front tire of my girlfriend's bike had gone flat, so I decided to buy a ticket on the subway, therefore I had a ticket, however I did not have an extra ticket for my bike. I don't speak German very well, but from what I gathered, it is supposed to be obvious that I was to buy an extra ticket for my bike, however at the ticket machine, when I picked the option "single ticket" on the screen, I was not also given the option on that page of adding a bike. After your colleagues issued me their fine, I went to try an buy an extra bike ticket, and I had to look around for about 3 minutes to find where I could even buy one. Your company hides the option in an alternate menu instead of making it obvious, no wonder I had not bought a ticket! Your system is impractical and takes advantage of the guest's time. It can not be assumed that every foreign visitor to this city will know how to read the whole rule g
uide in german. It must be made clear VISUALLY ON THE TICKET MACHINE PAGE that bikes must be added to a single ride ticket. This is how it was in Vienna, New York, London, in any other functional capital city that I have been in. In conclusion, I am willing to pay the extra part of the ticket, the 1.50, which I did not pay earlier, however I will not pay 40 Euros for having bought a ticket. The point of giving out fines is to punish people who do not want to abide the by the rules of the system. I am not one of those people. I write this in English also because my German is not nearly good enough to have been able to read all of your rules, nor understand what was going on when your colleauges were accosting me. I am a visitor here and I really feel taken advantage of, and am disturbed by the lack of hospitality that I was greeted with by your colleagues and the system. I will be here for a little while longer and I am willing to pay a reduced fine to cover the costs of the
bike ticket, however I am not going to just hand over 40 euros to your company because it is too strong to say no to. To me, that is totalitarian, and unjust. I am sorry to have to share this experience with you, thank you very much for your time, I hope you can see my reasoning and will be willing to discuss things on a human level with me, it's the least I could ask for at this point. Thank you again.

uncovering the secret to reactionary american chauvinism during an averted bike accident

Dear Reader(s),

      In the winding hours of the late evening new evidence came in from abroad, that the reason there are criminals are the same reason there are crimes, because one person is not any less fallible than the next, though either or may be more powerful.  YIKES.
     Today marks another day of bad decisions made in the blink of an eye, barely realized until it was too late to say sorry to a stranger.  Yes folks, I almost killed another baby, potentially.
    The story goes like this:

Young underworked white male wants to pretend he can ride his racing bike really fast.  To accomplish this  he cuts off of the nicely delineated German bike path and into the road without looking at traffic behind him.  He underestimates the space he´ll need to get around a white parked sedan, forcing a middle aged white male in a black coupe to swerve around him.  Beep.  The young man is put off by the loud noise.  The black coupe comes to a halt up ahead and the young man spitefully bikes passed him.  Beep.  Again, the young man is put off, but he slows down somewhat.  The man driver pulls up.  Both are perturbed, the young man refuses to apologize and for a moment, hates everything, despite the nice demeanor of the older man.  "You could say sorry at least," the older man says in German.  Hate hate hate.  The young man nods  and turns around to cross the road behind the black sedan.  Memories of bike accidents and angry drivers from back home in the states crowd his mind.  He is sorry that he was not nicer to the perturbed German, though he is glad that he did not spit on his car for no good reason.  He could be dead.

Karma takes its course.

He remembers months of misery after having destroyed the tail light of another car not even so long ago.

He called his mother then, but twice?  Enough.

He writes about his experience to justify it and to forewarn that the streets are dangerous because you have no idea what you will do next when you´re on them.

read On Being Ill by V.Wolfe

"They march to battle.  We float with the sticks on the stream ; helter-skelter with the dead leaves on the lawn, irresponsible and disinterested and able, perhaps for the first time for years, to look round, too look up - to look, for example, at the sky."


"But with the hook of life still in us we must wriggle.  We cannot stiffen peaceably into glassy mounds."

if he wasn´t here i would have to make him up

Amanda is taken to a mental clinic after she slices her underarms open with some glass shards and throw various objects from her balcony.  The doctors do not have anything to recommend her, and so Amanda´s fate takes its course. “I kept hearing the voice of my dead father and seeing faces everywhere,"  says Amanda, deeply moved.  The sympathetic lady wants to dive headfirst into a puddle. Now Amanda can finally take care of her son again. “Love is the best medicine,” laughs Amanda Beyer (36) from the city of Innsbruck in Austria. It is 7 years prior, and Amanda suffers from postpartum depression after giving birth to her son Justin. Every day the learned machinist visits her.  “Suddenly I began to notice things again that I had ignored for years, like the chirping of birds and the beautiful weather.  It was as if a boulder had been lifted off of my soul.  I have only my Victor to thank for that.” Finally, the hidden wells of her mother´s love spring up from the depths, and she accepts her son Justin.  “My duties as mother gave my life structure again,” Amanda says knowingly. “Mama is simply swell since she´s become healthy,” says the youngin.  “I love playing with mom.  “I´m a passionate rummager, I love going around flea markets and looking at all the old stuff,” gushes Amanda.  After eight years the little family takes it´s first vacation and spends two wonderful weeks in Italy. Exotic bracelets and earrings demonstrate Amanda´s readiness to live her new life. If my Victor wasn´t here then I´d have to make him up.  Love heals all wounds...”

Written by Reportage Team Berlin 
Translated and edited by white n00b with a laptop 

public access to my past

Thus Spoke Zaragoastra

Thus Spoke Zaragoatsra

visit to the doc

Well Doc,

Too much milk
makes me sick

too little fiddle
makes me whittle

too many people
soils my steeple

too few naps
make me crap!

etc. etc. etc.

Doc says,

THE "ME"
"THE" MY
The
Too much "much"
and too "little" little!

I'd say it's
Anxiety
with a capital A

I ask
"Well, doc, what can I do doc?

Doc says,
"pills? drills? biofeedback?"

"what's BIOFEEDBACK!?"

two dreams about [ ]

first

 We go into an abandonedish building that is still being used across the street from the house in Kingston where I spent my adolescence.  “I can’t believe this is still in use.”  [   ] laughs as the building sways back and forth in the wind, the floor levels on either side seesawing up and down, six feet at a time it seems.  An old balder man in a wife beater brushes his teeth and another one, or the same one, with a bigger build, struggles to get up and down the stairs.  “Incredible what it is we live with around here huh?" I say.
As we go back downstairs something deeply disturbs [   ].  I don't know what to do, [   ] is inconsolable.

second

we meet again....
some kind of airport looking place, it seems to be some indistinct metropolis, Toronto at least, but also Kingston, also Vancouver/ some emptier city out west or in Florida.  It's summer.

We are in a van, driving around.  We pull up to the fence alongside the Rondout neighborhood center.  There are a group of hysterical people that seem to know [   ], even though we're in my neighborhood.
We started cruising down spring street and then took a left onto colonel chandler.  I pushed back into my seat a bit, maybe even reclined and asked.  “So [   ], how’s life been these past 3 years?  Or has it been 4 years?  [   ] put up four fingers to correct me, maybe [   ] was smiling.  I remember that i knew exactly that it had been 4 years, 4 long years.

“You know, nothing too much, each year turns into the next.”  “Yea” “I’ve got a degree from Columbia.”  A vision of a Facebook page comes up and I look at [  ] degrees listed.
At some point we are cruising through a neighborhood that looks like where Dina lives in Franeker.  I said “growing up some crazy stuff happened to me here.”  I was referring to Kingston, the Rondout.  “Like what?” “Just crazy stuff... but it happens to everyone in my neighborhood so it's just the way it is.”

Things had really gotten much more subdued, for us both, yes  (perhaps all this relates to the email i took apart and blogged, the drunk dialing [  ]'s answering machine, and how different [   ] voice sounded somehow, even though it was the same answering machine as 4 years ago.)

 My brother's voice tells me something wise that brings the context of the dream into question, I might be aware this is a dream at this point.

I was in the backseat now, a bank perpendicular to the front seats.  I saw [  ] get back in.  [   ] put [   ] foot up on the dash and leaned back, maybe [  ] started driving away, that's when I woke up.

new thoughts on old butter

have you ever really sat down
and looked at a stick of butter?

I have
(in my wildest dreams*)

So,
let´s share our experience.
Experience is valuable*.

Let´s = let us.
For all you n00bs out there.

(hey that´s me)

It was sitting at my table,
but I wouldn´t call it my table.  I was subletting.  It was somebody else's table which, in order to melt a stick of butter on, I was leasing at a fixed rate.

(oh yes take me there)

Ok.

Our supertenant had been keeping the window open, even in the winter, because too much heat allows too much moisture to collect on the ceiling (not intended for moisture) and mildew forms.

It slowly melted after I closed the window to turn the heat up.  

It should be a proverb, but there are already too many proverbs, in too many languages, one is liable to devalue it.  My favorite proverb is ´early ripe, early rot,` which teaches us the value of letting our reserves spawn themselves, of not looking for a climax.  Both of these stories remind me of the golden egg as well.

It begins its slow descent

and I wondered if I should have turned the heat up in the first place.  After all, what would there be to learn from a brick changing into a puddle?

By this point the butter was getting there.
I hoped the table wouldn´t get ruined if things got out of hand.


it began to smell, its corners softened.

"What now?"  It had been a long time with the window closed, and look, it was seeping into the cracks of the table.
"If I open the window now it will harden."


I looked on,
it´s corners passed away.

I poked into the lump and the lump got on my finger.

Yuck.

It coated my finger.  I wanted to whine, or rub it on my shirt and then whine.  Instead I licked it and licked it clean.

(oh god yes, oh god!)


Eventually it began dripping through the table and onto my feet.
I didn´t want to lick my feet, so I took a roll, and rubbed it off.
Then I ate that, and

realized that by eating all of the butter, it it wouldn´t have to go to waste, especially not if I spent the next 6 hours walking or jogging in place.  I could even go to the park.  So many possibilities.

I ate all of the butter in various reprehensible ways,

and then I did so many things,

not just once, but more than once.

Epilogue:
I thought it was interesting that whereas I was feeling like a puddle before watching the it, afterwards I felt as complete and enticing as a whold cold block of untouched butter.

the end.
wow!
a climax*!

*The following text is fictional, or at best pseudohistorical dammit right?
*This is what endeavor teaches us no?
*Alternative ending

another old email out of context

Re: helloo...

The truth is, ive kinda

been seein this comin for a while now, but it hasnt
really bugged me.
------------------
helloo... 

>hey sjoerd, 

 i had to
>write this up real fast  
>at any rate, this is how i feel and this is how im gonna deal with this particular situation. 

>the reason i didnt tell you in school is because i honestly didnt have the courage,

>please write me back and say a little somethin cuz i just wanna know youre position on the matter 

something´s in the kitchen with dina

Stuffed Cats

The pharmacist sleeps in Garfield themed sheets.   

"I´ve even won a goblet."

But a hobby is intended to reconcile the seriousness of life.  

"In the end it´s worth at least that much to me!”

Story by Reportage Team, Berlin
Transl.  Woody Harrelson

shots in the dark greeted with smiles abroad (excerpts of old emails)

Dear           ,

> >I'm
> > > > >moving into my apartment
> >tomorrow,
> > > > >I've been living out in a suburb with my
uncle
> >and
> > > > >working as a city gardener, so I have yet to
> >really
> > > >pretty
> > > > >neat place so far
up
> >too
> > > > >late being an internet junkie again, bis
nextes
> > >Mal.

> >hey sjoerd.
> > > >
> > > >thanks for the mail.
I would like to meet up with you sometime
but
> > > >week of december becuase  unfortunatley I'm
>moving

> > > >We'll keep in touch and see what sort
>of
> > > >plans will unravel.
> > > >

Highlights from a Valentine´s Day in the Clouds

“Michael isn’t just some vacation fling,” says Vanessa.  “Love is in the air!  I found my man in the heavens and brought him  from cloud nine down to earth as my personal souvenir.  Valentine’s Day is our lucky day!.”
 
 She apologizes and seeks to mitigate the damages with a napkin.

He’s a passionate kayaker, especially in white-water.  The 1.88 m (6 ft 2 in) tall althete loves athletic challenges as a contrast to his career as a civil engineer.


Vanessa loves to go on long trips to Asia

Gorgeous Buddhist temples, shiny golden cupolas and fantastic beaches invite one to discover the exotic country. Yet first Vanessa has to save enough money from her salary as a salesperson in a big bookshop until she can finally get away.  Because she travels so often, Vanessa can speak English very well. 

 Stewardesses bring snacks and tomato juice, and at 10,000 meters (32.000 feet/6.2 miles) over the earth, the airplane came into heavy turbulence, and the entire machine was abruptly shaken.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to do that,” stutters Vanessa. 

The stewardess has to disrupt the puppy lovers` canoodling

Both would rather spend their free time reading than watching tv.  

Half an hour later, as Vanessa and Michael are standing at the hotel reception desk with their luggage and bouquet of roses, the hotel manager asks “Two single rooms? Or one double room?”

After their kiss in Asia, the American looks forward to the happy in end in Europe

“Ich liebe Dich, Vanessa!”  Michael moves into Vanessa´s little apartment and is astonished as to how closely related the German and English languages are.... Valentine’s Day is our lucky day!.” 


Written by Reportage Team, Berlin, Germany
transl. and assembled by Illuminati69